@IamEnidColeslaw: if I get married all my bridesmaids are going to be bats
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lovemydogduck: Some of my co-workers want to go hang out tonight. Trying to figure how to fake my death and still make it into work tomorrow.
@ericsshadow: THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women.
@johnbiehl: Humans are made up of 70% water so next time you're thirsty just eat Jeff from accounting.
@solommb: My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down.