@IamEnidColeslaw: if I get married all my bridesmaids are going to be bats
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@Michael_Erhart: "Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" "Well, alright." "Girl, I feel with my nerves."
@SharkJelly: "Hey honey" *drags a cigarette* "have you ever" *drinks some scotch* "slept with a guy" *sucks a lollipop* "with three arms?"
@brennadine: Therapist: So what happened in your last relationship? I lost him to addiction. Therapist: I'm so sorry. Drugs? Yes please.