@laurenmacdonald: If I give my dog a toy that doesn't make an unbearably annoying noise she looks at me like I have no clue how to do anything right in life.
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@JaySuch: My doctor told me if I was 5" taller I'd be at the ideal weight, so I'm going to try and give that a shot.
@squirrel74wkgn: In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works.
@ibid78: [sees girl reading The Bible] "Ah I love that book. The way they just *clenches fist* buy all those frickin bulls."