@GregHenchman: If I had a bodyguard, I'm pretty sure he'd just spend most of his time sighing and saying "Don't eat that..."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bornmiserable: Guys who say there's a party in their pants are probably referring to search parties.
@WillHinsa: My new years resolution is to stop biting my toenails. Nervous habit I picked up during all these meetings at work.
@TheAlexNevil: Me (to 7): Son, we... Wife (in earpiece): have to talk M: Have to talk W: about girls M: About grills W: NO M: NO W: IDIOT M: IDIOT
@chilldadpalguy: name a hurricane "Jesus" cuz then u could say "Jesus is coming" & have unaware ppl frantically prepare for rapture