@Midgetspar: If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
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@myles_morrison: The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "I'd like to withdraw 3 sausages and a packet of peanuts please." Man: "That isn't how a food bank works, sir."
@Sassafrantz: If you go to the zoo and he doesn't help you steal a monkey, he's not that into you.