@Midgetspar: If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
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@Elizasoul80: I like to ask strangers in line at the DMV to guess my weight just so I can see what I can get away with putting on my license.
@Eightinchgoat: I think I'm gonna shave my legs so that there's less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Women like an adventure ME: Okay [later on phone] ME: Are you having fun? DATE: *clearly upset* YOU LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE