@Midgetspar: If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
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@Asbo_Unicorn: Spelling is very important in cosmetic surgery no one wants buttocks injected into their face
@LindaInDisguise: If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off.
@MamaFlores: 5yo slooowly walks by: "Hi, mom and dad." 4yo slooowly walks by: "Hi, mom and dad." CODE RED CODE RED
@Brampersandon_: [pharmacy] "Can I help you?" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*