@Midgetspar: If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
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@Marlebean: When a child whines and cries, you give it back to the mama, so... *hands husband back to my mother-in-law*
@Bagyants: Student loans: because you should know what it's like to be one of the poor people you're always going on about
@Cheese_Pile: [First day of class at law school] *raises hand* Hi, yes. When do we get our white, curly wigs?
@MikeCanRant: Hi yes, I'd like the cheeseburger "How would you like that cooked?" *gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously