@TheBoydP: If I had a time machine I would go back to certain conversations with my wife to see if she really said the things she's told me I forgot...
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@krishna_van: Quitting the gym because it's easier, quicker and cheaper to simply invite my friends over for dinner every day and make them fatter than me
@danielvisme: I'm not staying up all night to get lucky. If it doesn't happen by midnight, I'm going to bed.
@Elizasoul80: Sometimes I put a vase of flowers outside to let other flowers know that if they try to be prettier than me, I'll cut their legs off too.