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@Oobrey: If I had any self control I'd probably eat that too.
@w00f_w00f: Couldn't remember the girl's name from last night so I brought her to Starbucks.
@KyleCrunk: Do not apologize for your dog coming up to me because this is exactly what I wanted
@birbigs: How do you milk an almond?
@SincerelyTumblr: mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that