@Stabby_smurf: If I have written a tweet similar to yours, I apologize for your lack of depth and vision.
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@WheelTod: Anytime I go to the doctors I feel so ripped off. Whatever my complaint is, it's always the same damn advice: "Lay off the methamphetamine."
@KingRainhead: date: i had fun tonight me: me too me: *mashes mouth against one cheek & slowly drags it across their whole face* me: that's how slugs kiss
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Be safe this weekend, otherwise your dumb friends will end up telling some local news reporter how you were always the "life of the party."
@alispagnola: Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on.