@OhNoSheTwitnt: If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I'll assume you're Benjamin Button and unfriend you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Gooooats: Me on the Phone: I'm going to "work" from home today. My Boss: I heard those air quotes.
@MatCro: GF: Sue at the bra shop said u got some lingerie ME: … G: Only u didn't give it to me M: [nervously adjusting thong] I'm having an affair
@dafloydsta: [getting mugged] ME: *leans in for a kiss* MUGGER: *slowly backs away* ME: haha this is so us