@OhNoSheTwitnt: If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I'll assume you're Benjamin Button and unfriend you.
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@sucittaM: Tell the guy at the first drive-thru window that you want the guy at the second window to throw your food into the car without you stopping.
@hashtagyolo11: BOSS: you're an hour late GUY WHO'S ABOUT TO INVENT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME: oh you haven't heard?
@TheMichaelRock: All the good guys aren't taken; they're at the bar on Tuesday nights. Trust me. I'm a stranger on the internet.