@theshamingofjay: Life Goals
Me at 14 - get a girl to like me, figure out how to have sex
Me at 34 - get a girl to like me, figure out how to have sex
@tomipuff: I would like a warm hound please
"Excuse me?"
A flaming puppy
"..."
Fire canine
"Do you want a hot dog, ma'am?"
Yes. A scorching pooch
@5exyunchained: How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
@iamspacegirl: Dad Dragon: If we weren't supposed to eat them they wouldn't come w plates and toothpicks now finish ur damn knight
Teen Dragon: I hate you
@clintwebster: When people post about their 5 year olds, they're talking about wine right?
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