@KattsDogma: If I owned a Brazilian waxing joint, I'd call it Pubic's Cube or The Razor's Edge or Hedging Your Bets or Getting a Leg Up or Bush League or
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@ojedge: [red carpet] "So Ryan, who are u with tonight?" Ryan Gosling [proudly] "My parents" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]
@qwertying: Airport Security: has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge, sir? Sir: How the hell am I supposed to answer that?
@UncleDuke1969: She said we needed to talk and... I said, "Yeah, I think we should break up, too." She said, "About where to eat." "Oh," I said, "Pizza?"