@AntiJokeTyrone: If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die
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@Swishergirl24: My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
@treydayway: I get accused of hating white people many times on here. That's not true, some of my favorite shirts are white.
@david8hughes: Wife: can you change the baby Me: oh thank god. I'm so glad you said that. Yes, yes I will Wife: I don't mean swap it for a new one Me: ...
@tastefactory: *Action movie guy gets shot 3 times* It's nothing, I'll be fine. *gets shot a 4th time* Wow ok, that last one, ok whoooooo.