@hodgesboi15: If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy.
@Birdhumms: I kept getting my shin badly grazed by the pedal of my bike when I was was a kid, that was one vicious cycle.
@Phantasmagoriax: If I ever die, my phone better go with me or there will be some pissed off people at my funeral.