@_Tempo11: If I put on a latex glove and snap it, that's just me flirting
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@KayRants: Ignoring your text is easy. It's having to park my car 8 blocks away so you think I'm not home when you drive by that's awkward.
@TheBoydP: If tennis rules were chasing the ball and bringing it to your opponent without letting him have it, my dog would be the best in the world.
@AmishPornStar1: *gently releases can of tuna into the ocean* Go ahead, Little Buddy! You can do this!!!
@thepunningman: Wife: But the zoo told you never to come back Me: [loading hotdogs into shotgun] Those giraffes can't live on salad, Eleanor