@nowarranty: If I say, "Don't worry, I'm on it," there's a 98% chance I'm referring to my couch.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@badbanana: Stick around after sticking around after the Thor 2 credits. Very realistic 3D of a theater manager telling you to leave.
@HumorParasite: Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
@MarfSalvador: Dad owl: I’m dying so I need you to look after things. I’m going to give you- Son owl: Don’t say it Dad: Power of a tawny Son: [turns head]