@nowarranty: If I say, "Don't worry, I'm on it," there's a 98% chance I'm referring to my couch.
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@TheAlexNevil: When the Olympics adds a Parent Shaking Head In Disbelief At His Child competition, I will do our country proud.
@ElKnuckelhombre: I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
@Prof_Hinkley: I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one
@TheCiscoKidder: When I see a parked car with the stick figure family on it, I move the husband over and put my studly stick figure next to the wife.