@nowarranty: If I say, "Don't worry, I'm on it," there's a 98% chance I'm referring to my couch.
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@scorpicpanda: Me: *lying nude on checkered blanket* Him: "Where's the food and why are you naked?" Me: "Am I doing it wrong? This is my first picnic."
@thedad: Watching Home Alone in 1990: oh poor Kevin, all alone with no family to celebrate the holidays Watching Home Alone in 2018: that lucky little punk
@EndhooS: I'm sorry you're just not NASA material "Why?" Well, you wrote 'red' then crossed it out & put 'human' under blood type on your application.
@good_fats: forrest gump (1994): this film gave me very unrealistic expectations of what my life would be like as a huge idiot. 2/10