@juskewitch: If I see a parked car with one of those stick figure family things, I always add a sticker of myself to it and then just wait in the car.
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@stephpaulus: Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius.
@TheMichaelRock: HR: Did you tell Brenda she was stupid? Me: Oh god no! I said she is stupid. HR... Me: There's no past tense with that one.
@CoolCamel69: wherever this dart lands is where I'll take a trip to *throws dart and it lands on Hogwarts poster* oh, well this is going to be difficult