@mishakey: If I see you being rude to a waitress, I'll spit in your food myself.
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@Phook75: The biggest problem with getting my picture taken is anytime someone says "Cheese!" My immediate response is "Where!!"
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If a woman wears a ponytail holder on her wrist at all times that means she's always down to pull her hair back and fight you.
@2tickytacky: I marched in a high school band, caught an armed robber, and sold girl scout cookies. All I was trying to do was find my car.