@charliedelta7: If I see you selling weed, I will call the cops.... and report a robbery across town..... then come over and buy some weed. Safety first.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [son falls over & hurts himself] ME: aww poor kid, he needs a little THC WIFE: don't you mean TLC? ME: [huge bong rip] he needs what now?
@itshotterhere: Apparently, if you jump out of a plane wearing parachute pants, it doesn't break your fall at all. But you can carry about a hundred combs.