@Cunda22: If I squint really hard, nope. You're still an idiot.
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@ericsshadow: [undercover FBI agent steps out of his surveillance van, knocks on my front door] do you ever stop eating?
@SteveKoehler22: No, Autocorrect .... the lovely bride was not wearing a SATAN trimmed lace ensemble - though she can be devilish at times.
@Swishergirl24: I was hoping to lose weight when I quit drinking, but it turns out that's not how pregnancy works.
@LurkAtHomeMom: 3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?