@Cunda22: If I squint really hard, nope. You're still an idiot.
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@Area51eh: Girlfriend mentioned she was lacking iron in her diet.nnnI gave her all my wrinkled shirts.nnnAnd that's how the fight started.
@HughGoesThere: Me: I saw Elvis Presley last night. Her: I'm sure it was an impersonator. Me: No *hiding shovel* It was definitely him.
@skitzoette: Never confuse a colostomy bag with a whoopie cushion. Totally ruined Grandpa's 90th birthday.