@cajones113: If I take anymore ibuprofen, I'm going to have to log it as a snack.
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@ilovepie84: " So the boat was about to sink until I attached a sail to my boner and made it safely to shore" Me if I was on the Titanic.
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: My favorite movie is Zoolander, how bout u? ME: OMG SAME HER: What part's ur fave? ME: Um [sweating] when he lands a zoo
@hipstermermaid: It's amazing that whales have evolved to live for over 700 years and humans have evolved to spread misinformation online! Nature's wonders!