@MableGertrude: If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money.
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@KalvinMacleod: [1st date] HER: I love when a guy speaks other languages ME: <html><body><p>hey</p></body></html> HER: *closes her browser, metaphorically*
@SortaBad: Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*
@RegularFred: Pizza is like racism. America didn't invent it, but it's hard to find a country that does it better.