@ISOremarkable: if i was a conductor of an orchestra, i would abuse my power by making them warm up to a stirring rendition of "ice, ice, baby."
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@NicestHippo: "So did you get lucky last night?" You better believe it! [flashback to me making all green lights omw home after girl refused to kiss me]
@thenatewolf: *sees a guy snap fingers at a server. I reach for my bag* Wife: No. We only have one left. We have a baby. Me: (to genie) take his fingers