@rmfnord: If I was a ghost, I'd write "Happy Birthday" in blood on your wall for your birthday, cuz you may be cursed, but it's still your birthday.
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@WheelTod: [To Police Sketch Artist] Me: “Black female... 5'3ish... Brunette... Curvy but not fat. Athletic, I guess... Good sense of humor... No kids — no divorcees either. Umm.. Must like dogs?...” Sketch Artist:... Me: “Why have you stopped drawing?”
@KazHiraiCEO: Nintendo say they are protecting children from inappropriate language online by making their voice chat app so bad that nobody will use it
@KittyShittyy: *deletes fb account* *leaves social media* *goes to Himalayas* *pigeon comes with a note* *opens note* *candy crush request* *dies*