@adam_bloomquist: If I was a girl named Isis, I'd be pissed that half the people decided to change my name to Isil.
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@Brentweets: Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
@simoncholland: I accidentally called it an eternity scarf instead of an infinity scarf and now I have to drink my Starbucks outside.
@TheRobCee: Michael Cera, in a public restroom, pinned to the opposite wall by the force of the hand-dryer.
@RoosterMustache: Hey now, you're a rock star, get your game on, Go plaaaay Hey now, you're potato, get your tate on, Po taaaate