@jwoodham: If I was a Quidditch player I'd be the Seeker, because I'm really, really good at doing basically nothing until the very end of something.
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@Book_Krazy: ME: I'd like to order...the updog. WAITER: How would u like that prepared? ME: um medium well? W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done
@better_off_dad: HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...a raise? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to report a hacking!
@shariv67: If your phone rings during a movie, answer it "Yes, Mr. President. Right away, sir!" And then run head first through the screen.
@Naked_Superman: Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake their soda