@HarleyPlays: If I was in the military, I would be a sniper. That way I can lie down a lot.
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@graceful_asfuck: [Burger Lounge] Server: Are you 27? Me: OMG NO I'M 39 THANK U SO MUCH U MADE MY DAY Server: I meant your order number, ma'am.
@ConcernedMom420: Being dark skinned is a CHOICE. In just a few years, through prayer, celebrity Beyonce is almost completely white. You can change too.
@TheMichaelRock: [guy inventing Captain Crunch] Hear me out, they're razor blades, but they're delicious.