@bridger_w: If I were a mob boss, I'd ask my henchmen to meet me down by the docks, then surprise them with a day of water skiing
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@awkwardphilippe: "I think we should-" Kiss under the moonlight? omg we finish each other's sentences! Hairdresser: was gonna say trim the sides a bit shorter
@BobTheSuit: 911: Your emergency? -Karen asked me a question. 911: Not an emergency. -She asked if I could be more pacific. 911: Cars are on their way.
@fro_vo: [space shuttle] Captain: prepare for landing Me: roger that C: reverse thrusters M: sretsurht lol C: lol *we smash full speed into the moon*
@OwensDamien: In an attempt to build some exercise into my daily routine, I’ve put the biscuits on a higher shelf. Boy, I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.