@bridger_w: If I were a mob boss, I'd ask my henchmen to meet me down by the docks, then surprise them with a day of water skiing
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: ok doc what's wrong DOCTOR: u have 6 months to live ME: *leans in closer* no what's wrong DOCTOR: it's just u only visit me when ur sick
@MarfSalvador: me: thanks for letting me work from home boss: *turns off shower* I meant your home
@BryMastas: When you're pushing 40, the real life challenge is to find the pic angle where you don't look like Jabba the Hut.
@thenatewolf: *on a first date* Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret