@ramenfuneral: if i were a white vegan satanist i would constantly say stuff like "kale satan" and "i love the dark gourd" and nobody would stop me
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@bidenandobama: Biden: why can't I log into my twitter what's everyone talking about today Obama:
@PellMull: I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots.
@dadjokehansolo: Ben: I'm trying to read, you're in my light Me: Because I am a Solo eclipse! Ben: Dad I swear to- Me: I am blocking the light of the son!
@HavocMantis: *at bank* I always think it's funny when I go to the bank because my last name is Banks Teller: "haha. First name?" *Pulls out gun* Robin