@ramenfuneral: if i were a white vegan satanist i would constantly say stuff like "kale satan" and "i love the dark gourd" and nobody would stop me
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@Donna_Gallers: Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.
@NYC_Blonde: Please don't ruin Breaking Bad for me... I'm only at the part where A texts Aria, Spencer, Hanna and Emily
@LionJenkins: Her: Babe! Be careful! The stove is hot! Me winking and leaning on the stove: You're Hot, Baby. 911: What's your emergency?