@Kendragarden: If I were gonna give advice about how to survive leaving your phone at home, it would be this: stare at something else. I chose a weird baby
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@DelanieFischer: Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work.
@noog: If you listen to a Miley Cyrus song backwards you can hear Satan refusing to have sex with her.
@InternetHippo: PARENTS: When someone offers you drugs, you say no! ME (going out into the world): I'm ready [literally no one offers me drugs ever]