@MichaelTrying: If I were Spock, I would spend 24 hours a day saying things like "get out of my Vulcan face" and "are you Vulcan kidding me?"
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@funnyortruth: Friend : "I wasn't that drunk!" Me : "Dude a thief stole your T.V and you ran after him screaming "YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!!!"
@imskytrash: retweet this to electronically sign my petition to ban windmills worldwide . we've had enough bird casualties . and for what ?more wind ?
@shkeeber: Him: I'm tolerant of the gay lifestyle. A neighbor of mine was gay. Me: Thanks. I'm tolerant of yours too. A neighbor of mine was an idiot.
@TimFederle: Why are pilots so honest? Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."