@MichaelTrying: If I were Spock, I would spend 24 hours a day saying things like "get out of my Vulcan face" and "are you Vulcan kidding me?"
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@kathybotteas: If the emoji I wanna text is not in the "recently used," you may have to wait 3 days till I find it.
@david8hughes: [puts dog in car] Me to wife: just gonna take her to the vet Wife: why u whispering [car screeches away] Me with wife in headlock: thats why
@Dawn_M_: My doctor said the claw marks on my face are not from a poltergeist but I should stop trying to put roller skates on cats.