@TheToddWilliams: If IKEA and LEGO combined forces our children could make our furniture.
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@SequelsWeWant: Twister 2: Climate change makes tornadoes evolve. They work together. We can't beat them. We team up instead The twisters destroy ISIS.
@LizHackett: Every earthquake is a reminder that you drunk-ate the good granola bars out of the earthquake kit eight years ago and never restocked them.
@Thrill_Tweeter: [The mid 20s catch up] "What are you drinking, who you seeing?" [The midlife catchup] "Who's your therapist, what are you taking for it?"
@SergioValenCo: I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut.