@TheToddWilliams: If IKEA and LEGO combined forces our children could make our furniture.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: Wearing shirts of bands you don't listen to is like refusing to eat the cupcake, but cool walking around with frosting all over your face.
@SCbchbum: The directions on every jar of anti-aging cream should read: “Apply liberally to face & neck 20 years ago.”
@Adar79Angie: If your Dad leaves, just act like you're installing a new screen door. All the Dads of the neighborhood will gather round. Pick your new Dad
@ohthatbadger: "Just this one more episode." you said, and all the voices in your head laughed and laughed, and slapped their knees.