@TheToddWilliams: If IKEA and LEGO combined forces our children could make our furniture.
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@david8hughes: [taking baby's shoes off] Oh what a surprise. Clean soles. It's almost as if you were carried everywhere.
@MourningGlory_: Whenever someone tells me they get a "high" from running, all I'm thinking is, "You've obviously never been high before."
@Tmoney68: Research shows vacuum cleaners can cause hearing loss. "You should absolutely get rid of that monster," said one furry, panting scientist.