@TheToddWilliams: If IKEA and LEGO combined forces our children could make our furniture.
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@kumailn: Pitch: child wishes to become big & does. Gets job at toy company & his youthful perspective doesn't help cuz he's got the brain of a child.
@KaliciaBo: "You are cute like a dog, Momma!" My daughter is very sweet but we must work on her ability to compliment.
@Jake_Vig: I didn’t set my clocks back. I’m writing this from one hour in your future. We have jet packs.
@thenatewolf: ME: [forgetting the name of someone I went to school with for years] Hey… man! ME: [watching GoT] That’s Randyll Tarly, Samwell’s father.