@SteveInevitable: If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet
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@tarashoe: STRANGER: she has a book. cute and smart ME: [taking a bite of the small layer cake i made to look like a book] STRANGER: a stunning genius
@Sarcasmo718: I'd love to see Jason Statham's face when he finds out you can turn down movie roles.
@pakalupapito: dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows
@Sassafrantz: "911, what's your emergency?" Me: A cute guy at the laundromat walked past me while I was folding my period underwear.