@Ideal_Victoria: If I’m suddenly acting really nice to you, chances are it’s only because I want what you’re eating.
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@Book_Krazy: Mom: I think I'll name her Jenny. Dr: I'm sorry, that name is already taken, but you can name her jenny_2828
@FuckabillyRex: I thought she said "tantrum sex" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman.
@NervousJr: Friend: your not going to believe this but my whole family was killed in a freak accident! Me: *you're
@Coolisiana: *a jerk tries to punch me but I catch it perfectly in my mouth and swallow him whole like a snake*