@LoneWolfStories: If I'm your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.
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@girlontapas: I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.
@peteholmes: train me. no. train me. okay. training montage. the big fight. i'm glad you trained me. i'm glad i trained you. #everyboxingmovie
@thatUPSdude: Cop: Reason I pulled you over was you were swerving Me: Sorry was tryin to catch a Pokémon Cop: Which one!? I mean let me see your license