@KentWGraham: If it ain’t broke, my children haven’t touched it yet.
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@MythicPicnic: Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out....
@jazmasta: *strums ukulele* This one goes out to my ex wife, Lucy. It's called "I know how much you hate ukuleles so I wrote a 9 minute ukulele song"
@jonnysun: teacher: are u a visual thinker, auditory thinker, or kinesthetic thinker me: oh im not a thinker
@BlindChow: Hey girl, do you like bad boys? *tries to look cool by flicking my cig, but it's an e-cig so I have to run and get it*