@bobsin: If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she's practising for her next selfie
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CatsForDinnerz: Opened a can of expired beans and an eagle flew out carrying a photo of a can of fresh beans. I nervously ate the photo while he observed.
@SarcasticAlly12: I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters
@Serious_Law_Guy: Me: Your honor, he's not asking the witness any questions. He's just reading Harry Potter to the jury. Judge: Yeah, I'm gonna allow it.
@NerishaLakha: I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.