@bobsin: If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she's practising for her next selfie
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@InternetHippo: All the adults who used to tell me "When you're older you'll understand" - I appreciate your optimism but have some bad news
@vikkaroni: Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I'm an alcoholic. Operator: Ma'am, this is AAA. Me: I know. I'm an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch.