@shawn_spree: If it wasn't for the internet, I would think "12 Years A Slave" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage.
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@iGreenMonk: I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit.
@Book_Krazy: Me: The new guy's a lumberjack? Boss: Yep Me: He seems nice... Boss: STOP Me: I'll bet he's good at... Boss: DONT Me: random axe of kindness
@UncleDuke1969: Her: What do you do? Me: Global prosthetics distribution. Her: You’re an artificial limb salesman? Me: I prefer ‘international arms dealer’.