@shawn_spree: If it wasn't for the internet, I would think "12 Years A Slave" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage.
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@robwhisman: a fun activity is leaving one-star amazon reviews for handsaws where you really lean into their ineffectiveness at sawing circles around various pies you've tried stealing from underneath picnic tables
@Reverend_Scott: HULK WANT LOAN Bank: We can't loan to people like you. GREEN PEOPLE?? *flips table into moon* Bank: People owing 2.6B in property damage.
@Eightinchgoat: Fun trick: Handcuff her and tell her you're taking her to 50 Shades of Grey. That way she can't escape when you go to The SpongeBob Movie.