@shawn_spree: If it wasn't for the internet, I would think "12 Years A Slave" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage.
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@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.
@aka_fatman: Chief: You're the WORST cop in the department! Hand over your gun and badge! Me: *realising I left both in my son's crib* Uhhhhh....
@Traceylei2: You know those orange cones they put on the road for you to knock over? Totally just beat my previous high score.
@StarWarsProblms: Qui-gon: You will give me the parts Watto: I'm immune to mind tricks Qui: Are you immune to lightsabers? Watto: I will give you the parts