@N0pantz: If it weren't for smoke detectors, I'd never know when my food was ready.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.
@IamEnidColeslaw: Remember when that really cute guy held the door for you at the book store? He doesn't.
@robdelaney: My plane has an entire high school wrestling team on it, so I imagine we'll crash in a forest & I'll become their King.