@s8n: If it's 1 or 1000 sins you're still getting sent to Hell. So why not go for 1,000,000 sins and come down here a legend
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@DanMentos: [Penn and Teller getting a loan for their comedy act] "Ok all you guys need is a name" *they look around bank for ideas*
@jonnysun: ten years ago we had Jason Shoes, Carl Shirt and Daniel Problem. now we have no shoes no shirt no problem welcom to dennys what can i get u
@Book_Krazy: Me: Excuse me sir, can you please forward my X-ray and breast exam results to my doctor Airport security:...
@kwirkyKerri: Facebook tells me those vans are dangerous, but Twitter says they have candy. So conflicted.