@scorpicpanda: If I've learned one thing from watching horror movies, it's if you buy snacks from vending machines, you will die.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kunalkamra88: I never understand why do people whisper at funeral's ? The most important guy at this party is dead he can't hear you.
@tonsmorecowbell: Somewhere in Africa, a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.
@Iwriteforcats: [Travels back in time] Me: Abe, what do you think America looks like in the future? Lincoln: United as one nation... Me: Wrong! FATTER.