@scorpicpanda: If I've learned one thing from watching horror movies, it's if you buy snacks from vending machines, you will die.
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@thetits: [end of the night]*hand running through her hair, pulls out a lizard* ME: no not again *she unzips jacket, collapses into a pile of lizards*
@Extranaut: Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green.
@TheSharona06: That guy who just spent 2 hours washing and waxing his sportscar looks like a douche. C'mon boys, you know what to do. - Birds, probably
@wendchymes: Kinda miss the Jane Austen era where a man is driven mad by a woman's hand being ungloved & yet oblivious to her heaving bosom falling out.