@behindyourback: If Jesus loves me how come he's never liked a single one of my instagram selfies
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@skylerhanrath: If you want a medical degree, they're literally hanging on doctor's walls. Grab one.
@JosesLovesYou: For a hero, it's pretty cool that Mario is just a dude who ignores his real job, does mushrooms and smashes his head into things all day.
@PowKapowBoom: My cat is stuck in a Cheeto bag and I'm really pissed that I didn't think of that first.
@realHamOnWry: Mrs.Potato seemed genuinely upset that her husband was missing, but the smell of French fries in her kitchen made the detectives suspicious.