@TheRolo: If love didn't hurt, it wouldn't be called love...it would be called tacos.
@LoveNLunchmeat: upon my death:
1. tell my kids I loved them
2. give my daughter my jewelry
3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case
@Grind_n_Roll: You can tell a lot about a person by autopsy.
@riscfuture: Imagine if last names were invented now, so instead of “Smith” and “Baker,” we had “Frontenddeveloper” and “Socialmediaconsultant.”
@Crunk_Jews: [blind date]
Her: I was so scared you'd be a weirdo
Me [revving chainsaw]: I CANT HEAR YOU