@DestryBrod: If methane killed off the dinosaurs just imagine what I can do in an elevator.
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@SideOfWine: Just as bugs are drawn to bright lights, so are my toes drawn inexplicably to hard objects.
@Thynebear: [on the phone with wife] Honey, who do you like better, Hulk Hogan or Jafar from Aladdin? "Tell me why." [winks at tattoo artist] No reason.