@JimmerThatisAll: If money can't buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
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@bromanconsul: a car just rolled by blasting the "Duck Tales" theme song so now I'm chasing after it and trying to catch up with my new best friend
@UnderTheJewFro: I was starving earlier so I opened up a beanbag chair. There were no beans, only styrofoam. Im furious, Im hungry and I have nowhere to sit.
@wife_housy: Hubs says when I drink I'm "too loud" and use too many "big words." WELL I'M SORRY IF MY VOCIFEROUS GRANDILOQUENCE BOTHERS YOU!!
@leshnevsky: How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture