@FatherWithTwins: If my 5yos are holding something when I buckle them into their car seats, there's a 150% chance they'll hit me in the face with it.
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@chrisdowning: Guys these days will never know the anxiety of calling a girl's home number and having to ask her dad if she's home.
@qwajo_jnr: You know that moment when you close a cupboard and hear something fall? That's the sound of someone else's problem
@dumbbeezie: Holiday tip. Always buy people gifts that you would like for yourself in case they piss you off before Christmas
@GloriaFallon123: My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.