@delusionaliam: If my calculations are correct, slinky + escalator = everlasting fun.
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@tarashoe: haha remember when you were a kid you'd hide inside the clothes racks at stores. can't do that as an adult. someone's stupid kid is in there
@iwearaonesie: dad: You're sitting at the kids table this Thanksgiving me: Why? dad: What's a fuse? me: Uh dad: Who's SpongeBob's best friend? me: Patr- oh
@LeBearGirdle: Jesus: one of you will betray me tonight *checks phone* Jesus: WHO IN DAD'S NAME UNFOLLOWED ME?!" *judas slyly slips phone back in robe*