@delusionaliam: If my calculations are correct, slinky + escalator = everlasting fun.
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@VerifiedDrunk: I'll die fat, drunk & happy while you live healthy until you get run over by a bus... See ya at the cemetery!
@bdbdleeroybrown: I wish you'd told me you were happy just flirting on twitter. I've already bought plane tickets and murdered my wife.
@MatCro: [bar] CUSTOMER: Barman BARMAN: Sir? C: This beer tastes like piss [further down the bar] BEAR GRYLLS: I'll have what he's having