@TwatWaffler69: If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there's nothing I can do about it.
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@Contwixt: Pluto should totally move on and find a solar system that's going to treat it with the respect it deserves.
@Karissajem: Me: I have a memory like an elephant. Him: Elephants get drunk all the time and forget everything too? Me: Yes.
@AndyAsAdjective: *steps out of time machine* SCIENTIST: so did you kill Hitler? ME: [holding a cute little baby triceratops] um yeah, about that…