@That_Damn_Duck: If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
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@Elifcello: Every so often I Google my name hoping someone stole my identity and made a better something out of myself.
@callie_cakes: PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
@genehunter1: What kind of name for a storm is "Debby?" Hurricanes should have names like "Satan" No one should have their house destroyed by "Heather."
@TheMichaelRock: It's cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can't even dress the kids properly.