@KenJennings: If my kid vanished on a plane like in that Jodie Foster movie I'd spend maybe 2-3 hrs enjoying the legroom & quiet before I started looking.
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@GeauxSaints79: 911: I'd like to report a Twief! 911: What? A Twurglar! 911: I don't follow You can't catch em like that. Hurry they're getting stars!
@FrogAvalanche: *National Spelling Bee Final - Spell cyclops. - Use in a sentence. - Cyclops have one eye. *winks at audience - C-E-Y-E-C-L-O-P-S.
@TomHanksIsHot: If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like "oh yeah this makes sense."