@I_Bl33d_Purple: If my memory serves me, the last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.
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@joejwest: [hat shop] OWNER: Sir stop or I'll call the police UNICORN: [surrounded by damaged hats] No one will believe you
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: Let's name some of you bugs FLY: Me first! GOD: Okay…Fly FLY: Hell yeah! BUTTERFLY: Now me! GOD: Hmm…Butterfly FLY: Sonuvab-
@GoldenSpirals: Apparently... Border Security does NOT think it's funny when you reply, "I'm hungry" when they ask you if you have anything to declare.
@neerjagurnani: The best way to refuse a credit card telemarketer is to tell them you're unemployed. Guarantees them hanging up within seconds.