@AnkCoupleTO: If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now
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@doktorj: *brings whipped cream to bed* Husband: Ohh, are we trying something new? Me: Will you hold this pumpkin pie while I get comfortable?
@wolfpupy: first you light 100 candles, then you fall asleep. this 'burn your house down' spell works every time
@TheTweetOfGod: People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.