@AnkCoupleTO: If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now
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@UncleDuke1969: Brain: Compliment her eyes Me: Yeah? Brain: Trust me "YOUR EYES ARE BLUE LIKE BLUEBERRIES & THEY'RE PROBABLY SQUISHY TOO." Brain: Perfect!
@KeetPotato: wife: can you stop messing around lawyer: im not wife: just read my husband's will please lawyer: that's what it says.. "oOoOoh im a ghost"
@cray_at_home_ma: Didn't realize how much motherhood had changed me until I army crawled in & out of my sleeping baby's room to get my 1/2 cup of cold coffee.